Lifes too short

I feel like I started this blog and even though I go months or years without posting why re create another one? I enjoy looking back at past posts to see how Ive changed (and how my skills have improved on the clay creations) There is this Studio C where heaven or hell doesnt want this man who has died because he has done nothing with his life. Worked,watched Netflix, ate microwavable dinners. I then randomly came across an info video on youtube about self disipline and productivity, along with one about how short life is and after all the things we have to do, we have 12 years worth of time to really choose how we fill that time. All those things combined opened my mind pretty wide. I dont want to spend it watching tv. I want to spend it writing which is what I enjoy doing and spending quality time with my family. There is a whole long list of projects to finish and small bucket list items and I thought, why wait? There is nothing too personal in these posts so why not put my little journal entries on the world wide web? If I die young, people may be interested in this site who knows. Ha. Or my grand kids will have something helpful to read when their young mothers. 

Moving Forward, No matter how slow

So, Ill just tell it how it is. As my daughter says it, "I'm into this toy today." Then the next day, she'll be on to a different toy. I get "in to" different things and don't stick with them for long. But this blog is here and there is no sense is making a different one just so the dates are all consistent, so I'm "in to" this blog again so here goes.

I am picking this up again, honestly.. I paid $20 for some business cards when I was selling my ornaments and clay creations at my friends Craft Fair booths. I needed a place for someone to be able to see pictures of what I have done and contact me just in case they needed a special order. I have a lot of business cards left that I also don't want to go to waste so here I am.

I have another friend opening a flower/gift shop and she would like to sell some of my items in her store. I also need a place to continue to put these things somewhere to be accessed.

I love crafting. Always have always will. You compare yourself only to how you used to be and the improvement you have made in any aspect of life. This is the most important part of being you. You can never be real if you compare. We all have different talents in many different things and it is possible to sincerely appreciate our own talents and others talents at the same time. That is what I strive for.

Becoming

I want to come back to this talk and read it when I have time. I came across it when I was planning my talk for this Sunday. I need to access it again here. The theme for a week at BYU was "The process of becoming." That randomly popped into my head as Kraig was praying. But this theme was given the year I was born, so unless I am having some crazy flash backs for a conversation I heard when I was just learning what sounds are or something else brought this on.. but I'll think of it eventually.

New Beginnings 2016

I was in charge of decorations for New Beginnings. 

"Press Forward for Sweet is the Work"

 You kind find the sight where she found these and the instructions here.

 I filled the boxes with candy necklaces and also had these so they could put the treats from the candy bar when they get a chance to pick away. (More candy was added after I took this picture, and even then we ran out very fast)

 My grandpa had these awesome jars with the colored lids so I covered over the original labels with printed paper.

 The Young Women President had the candyland version that I remember playing growing up. Researching it, apparently there are quite a few versions they have come out with.

 This is me attempting to make large candies from balloons and clear plastic wrap without any specific instructions.

 So our YM Pres was the one that helped me set up. With two adult helpers and two munchkin helpers, we finished in two and a half hours. It looks like it took maybe an hour. :D We used push pins into that crazy wall you find in churches and it stayed up the whole time. We just used the plastic tablecloths for the wall and the cloth tablecloths for the actual tables. The girls dress up accessories worked great for their prop enjoyment. "Grab a Prop and Smile Sweet."  Was the sign.

 The path led to Gumball Lake. If they chose, one person draws a card (the color cards from the actual CandyLand game) , shouts out the color; who ever had the next turn, finds that next color. If their spot has something written, the move forward according to what it says. "You spent your Sunday afternoon working on Personal Progress, move forward two spaces." Etc Etc. The first to Gumball Lake wins!  (Yes I came up with this game all by myself)

 Press Forward For Sweet is The Work. That is how I tied in the decorating theme. When I heard Press Forward, I thought of a path. When I thought of a path, I thought of Candyland because she had said New Beginnings is more of the fun light hearted activity and Evening of Excellence was more of the spiritual serious type meeting. I had to jump on this while I had the chance.

 I did a path for fun from the front door right to the Relief Society Room.

 I found scriptures that had "sweet" in them and broke down this year's scripture by having definitions of the different words found in that scripture.

The girls seemed to have a lot of fun. They liked sitting together in the ball pit to take pictures. The thing that took the least amount of time is the activity they enjoyed the most which was the photo booth. The other dessert was a lemon cake which was great. We also gave them their charm of Christ for this year's charm bracelet. So wonderful! I love my calling. The more I am in it, the more I enjoy it. This and Evening of Excellence decorations I counted towards hours to my Personal Progress project. (Since they told us the leaders can earn their recognition award as well along with the girls.)

Happy Potion

As these words are my diary screaming out loud, here is my release. A place I can write. I've been having a hard time lately, for no reason in particular. It comes and goes and it is extremely hard to explain. As H was trying to pour out his heart in compassion, the kids were being loud. He calmly said, "Girls, you need to hear this too. Mommy feels sad in her head and she needs our cooperation." As K has been into empty polish bottles as princess potions, she rushes to her room to "make me a potion to help me feel happy."Later Shalae insisted on taking the piles of laundry off to each designated room. She said "I help with the laundry. Mommy, I love you so much." How astounding that a 2 and 1/2 year old could be so in tune of what is going on around her. (Yes tantrum city 7 minutes later when sister wouldn't let her open her special drawer but it was still a previous beautiful moment.) She was taking some clothes to mommy and daddy's bed and as she came back out she said, "Mommy, I'm not scared of the dark. The dark helps me sleep." I had taught her that only once last week as she was telling me how scared of the dark she was. I told her the dark was alright and we walked to each room saying hi to the dark. Only once and she let me know she was not afraid. Those moments. Few and far between at times. Those times smack dab in the middle of some glob of despair; it finds you. It seeks you out as if it was so easy to find me. This reassurance that everything is going to be alright. And these are those little moments that helps your day to heal so that healing can carry you to your sleepy early morning. As it finds you, you can sleep knowing you saw a tiny miracle shining just around that corner you thought would be hard to spot. Its a truly beautiful thing.

Really living

Sometimes I think we get so used to just being alive that we forget that we're really living! Our heart and lungs are working! We only have one chance at this so we need to stop and think about what's going on around us. I feel like the more bad days I have, the more I appreciate the good days. That seems like a no brainer comment but it is so very real to me. I want to soak up every second saying, "Hey! I'm not crying right now! My heart feels calm, I have no anxiety, no contentious thoughts towards anyone." My toddler was in a silly mood today and my five year old entertained herself. My husband stared at me through literally all of dinner today, played the copycat game, then stopped.. never explaining himself when he was through. Those times you get to breathe in all the gratitude and  breathe out all the happiness. Feel the love, both in and out. The are really great days that I just have to soak up while I can.

On Levels of Connection

This is my safe space to write. To let thoughts flow without fear of judgement from anyone. Where is your place? So, my question today: What do you do in those moments that you feel disconnected? Those times where you attempt to reach out to those you know, to pour your heart, out only to get nothing in return. What do you think some reasons are for people masking how it really is in their life? To have this, life is great, the grass is greener here, I have it all together type attitude some carry around with them. But yet on the opposite side of that, you have those that seem to have it together, share with the world that they really don't, and people go crazy; soaking up all that individual has to say? Are they almost enjoying the fact that they were right about someone "so perfect?" Would we still listen to these women if they were poor or unfortunate looking or if we didn't know what they looked like at all? So how is it that one post can get 5,000 likes and 100 comments, thanking this person for opening up about their life? Doesn't that make you think that we all want to open up to someone but just don't? For the reasons we are still trying to figure out individually. I hope at least some of this makes sense. I believe we all have feelings we want to share that will relieve some of those feelings of loneliness. Your supposedly only suppose to offer out your soul at the same degree as someone else does. A new friend offers some personal information about themselves, you do the same. You take a chance and express a little more to them and they look uncomfortable or no longer offer additional thought provoking information back. Or they offer more in return and you connect on a deeper level then, "that was a crazy storm today, wasn't it?" I read that introverts hate small talk and do better one one one then in a group. Well that is me to a T and that may be why I write. Hoping that the one person who is reading this is the one I am able to connect with right now. "These words are my diary screaming out loud." So if you want to write and also scream out your diary, I would welcome those words with open arms. I started it. I'm the brave one right now. We could all take turns writing back and being brave. I will probably end up writing more about introvert qualities because personality types intrigue me. When I grew up I wanted to be a physiologist or an interior designer. :D