Heaven's Film

Here is one of many articles that I have written.
So it's five in the morning, I have been up for two hours, and am now holding a precious little baby in my arms as she sleeps. If she wakes up, she breathes faster and faster which causes her to realize her nose is all conjested. So I am holding her, in hopes that if she wakes herself up then I can softly rock her back to sleep. I have been thinking about how great it would be to relief my bladder, get my ice cold water from the fridge, my oat and honey granola bar and maybe a chick flick playing in the back ground of all my thoughts as I sit here. Not sleeping.

When I get to heaven, one of the first "films" I am going to request to watch is moments similar to the one I'm having now in my own mothers life when she was home with her young family. Through vague memories of my lil childhood home, mixed with multiple pictures I've come to cherish of my younger years, I can almost picture a scene such as this:

With sneezes and sniffles, requests for snuggles, books read and noodle soup served, the day has finally ended. Three children all sleeping. She gets a moment to change her clothes, brush her teeth, and then.. The crying one is heard. Mustering up that mommy mode strength, she goes to retrieve her teary eyed child before the others awake from the sound. Now that baby girl knows two things; she doesn't feel quite right and momma makes it all better. So she settles right down for a snooze in those warm 'fit for just me' arms. Mommy is exhausted, warn out, and imagines that tomorrow won't be much different. But because of the deep love she has for her precious angels, she looks around for a seat.

Toys, tissues, wrappers and cups, she finds a spot on the couch, moving minimal items, as to make the least amount of noise. Getting as comfortable as possible, she soon realizes there won't be much sleeping on her part.

Now she settled down on that couch and not in her warm comfortable bed. She she did because she knew her hard working husband needed his sleep if he was going to get up early to work all day to provide for the cough medicine, diapers and fruit loops

With her toes she can just barely reach her novel that had been knocked off the table onto the floor. She remembers she got it out that morning when she thought her three girls had been sleeping in because their bodies needed the well needed rest to heal. She had opened it, only to hear giggles coming from the back room.

Now was her chance to finish that one sentence she had left off on. I wonder if she got lost within those pages, with a moment "to herself." I wonder if she imagined herself in another place or time. I can only imagine how she may have had thoughts "what if" or "maybe when." .

But then I remember my mother. I remember the thoughts she has shared with me about how much she loves being a mom, now and back then. When I have asked her advice on all the "hard stuff" she simply does not recall enough information to relay back to me tips on detailed circumstances.

See? It really won't be like this for long! Besides thoughts and feelings I record, God helps you forget the every day hard and remember the significant good! He does this for a reason. So that we continue on with life and know it will all turn out ok. If my mother decided those sleepless sick filled nights were just too difficult to go through again, I wouldn't have my two younger amazing, helpful, wonderful siblings! Oh what a heart renching thought. Sure if that was the case, I wouldn't have known what I was missing out on, but I do and the thought is sad.

She didn't know then she would have a boy next, and then another girl. She didn't know that they would reside in that trailer court housing six more years before they bought a house a few miles from that spot.

She didn't know how many tears she would shed for her children. How many nights she would stay up and worry. How many owees she'd kiss, arguments she would lose, tantrums she'd tame, laughs she'd create.   How she come to accept in laws into the family in her own way and time. How much she would completely love being a grandma. How when her children had their first kids, how much they would call to just say thank you or how heart felt the Mother's Day cards are that they now write to you.

It was always worth it. But oh how she didn't know how the most sincere thank you's would come 25 years later when a child of her own walked a mile in her shoes.

I believe she was excited for whatever lay ahead of her.

6:21am. On this couch I hear my first spring morning bird sing. It's still going to be a wonderful day.